Posts Tagged ‘cancer support’

When Your Partner Fails You

Cancer Support(This blog was originally posted on Friday, February 20, 2015 on the WebMD website)

Along with the worries, sadness and frustrations of dealing with cancer, many patients experience the heartbreak of their loved one failing to support them. How could a life partner or spouse fail you during cancer? There are many ways, some more obvious than others.

Jan’s husband never came to any appointments, ever. He never learned about her diagnosis, her treatment plan, the side effects of the medicines or the recommendations for how she might improve her energy and strength. He blamed the lymphedema in her arm after her surgery on her “lazy lifestyle.” He told her that support groups were for “wimps” and even took some of her pain medicine for himself.

Sally’s partner came to every appointment – he would never let anyone else bring her. He kept a medical notebook with her test results and argued with every doctor about each treatment plan. He would not let her eat any ice cream or cookies because he thought the sugar would make her tumor grow, even though Sally was at a very healthy weight and ate a very balanced diet.

Gary’s girlfriend would never stop talking about herself. At appointments with the oncologist she would ask questions about breast cancer even though Gary had lymphoma. She repeatedly complained about Gary being at home instead of work, “having him around the house all day is making me crazy, I need my space!” She had no understanding of cancer fatigue: “he looks fine, no vomiting or fever – he should be able to do more!” In the past Gary had been able to participate in his girlfriend’s extremely busy social schedule, but after lymphoma, he asked his girlfriend about limiting their social time to just close friends. His girlfriend insisted on accepting every invitation, and started leaving Gary at home, alone.

Some spouses and partners don’t get it, but they want to, which is huge. If a loved one wants to do better, there is hope for the relationship. If you’re the partner — not the patient — in this scenario, and you’re wondering how to recover from your initial missteps, here’s what I would suggest: Start by setting aside time when there are not any children yelling or bills to be paid or dishes to be done. Begin with a question, “so how are things going for you?“ Wait for an answer. Listen. Then ask “Anything I can do to help?” Breathe, pause, listen. Maybe put your hand on your partner’s shoulder, gently, in order to emphasize you are listening. If you start getting yelled at for being late once 6 months ago, breathe deeply, and respond simply, “I am sorry I was late, but now I really want to help, and do better. Let’s keep talking, but no yelling please.” Make eye contact and smile.

Sally’s partner took the advice above, he set aside the time, took several deep breaths, and listened. He listened closely because he really did love her, and wanted to know how she was doing. He admitted that he had hoped to stop the cancer by controlling everything about her medical care and diet. Sally was able to explain she did appreciate the help with scheduling and tracking her medicines, but she did not want to be treated as an invalid or a small child. Sally’s partner was eventually able to become the partner she needed – a partner interested in caring for her but also respectful of her autonomy.

Gary spent a lot of time after cancer treatment thinking about what kind of life partner he wanted. Reflecting back over the years, he was able to see that his girlfriend had always been self-absorbed. Friday nights, she chose the restaurant; Sunday morning she picked the breakfast; and during the week she rarely asked how Gary was doing at work. Gary realized that he would rather be alone than in a relationship with someone who only cared about herself. “After everything I have been through, I deserve real love.”

Jan always knew that her husband drank too much, but she had hoped he would stop on his own. Through her cancer treatment Jan was terribly embarrassed that her husband was not at appointments. On the day Jan came home to tell her husband that the oncologist told her she was cancer free, he was passed out on the couch. Not being able to share the journey, or the joy in the recovery, pushed Jan to tell her husband that she wanted a divorce. When he realized Jan was actually planning to leave him, he knew he had to get sober. The addiction to alcohol had robbed Jan’s husband of the chance to be a support when his wife really needed him. The only hope for the marriage was for him to get completely sober, and with medical care, Jan’s husband finally stopped drinking. Once sober, he returned to being the kind of husband Jan remembered from when they were first married. He cooked pasta dinners, rubbed her feet in the evening, and actively listened when she talked about her health concerns and hope for the future.

We all hope that our partner will step up and be there for us if we need them, but sometimes they don’t support us as we’d hoped. There are a variety of reasons why a loved one may fail during cancer treatment, and the psychological work is to realize the failure is about their issues, not about you or your self worth. If there is genuine caring, and a real desire for a loving relationship, a couple may get through the challenge of cancer. And if not, there may be grieving process if the relationship fails, but there is great beauty in a cancer survivor taking steps to be in the healthiest, most loving relationship possible. After cancer, you deserve it.

About Dr. Baer

Wendy Baer, MDWendy Baer, MD, is medical director of psychiatric oncology at the Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University, with appointments in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences in the Emory School of Medicine, and the Department of Hematology and Medical Oncology at Winship.

In her work at the Winship Cancer Institute, Dr. Baer helps patients and their families deal with the stress of receiving a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment. As a psychiatrist, she has expertise in treating clinical depression and anxiety both with medications and with psychotherapy to help people manage emotions, behaviors, and relationships. The fundamental goal of Dr. Baer’s practice is to promote wellness and maximize patients’ quality of life as much as possible. She believes strongly in the team approach to patient care and collaborates regularly with the doctors, nurses, and social workers that make up a patient’s care team.

Dr. Baer attended medical school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she graduated with honors. From UNC she went to the University of Pennsylvania, where she completed her residency in psychiatry and served as the chief resident in her senior year. Prior to moving to Atlanta, Dr. Baer worked with patients dealing with cancer at the Swedish Cancer Institute in Seattle, WA.

Related Resources

7 Steps for Better Sleep During Cancer Treatment

Better Sleep with Cancer(This blog was originally posted on January 15, 2015 on the WebMD website)

One of the most common complaints I hear working with people who have cancer is that they can’t sleep. We all know the misery of not being able to fall or stay asleep, and the misery that awaits the next day, including fatigue, irritability and foggy headedness. And being awake at night, especially when you have cancer, is lonely, scary and frustrating. All the worries about your diagnosis, treatment and future are at their most intense when you don’t have daytime light, noise and people to distract you. Call it the 3am Misery. Understandably many cancer patients ask their doctor for a sleeping pill like Ambien or Xanax. While this may be an easy solution, it might not be the right solution. So before you assume that sleeping pills are the answer, pause. Have you and your doctor talked about what is really causing your sleep problem?

For people with cancer, sleep problems generally fall into three categories: daytime escape, after-dark fear, and body aches. Knowing your category is the first step in dealing with the sleep problem.

Daytime Escape

“Wake me up when it is over!” Who would not want to escape from cancer? Escaping into your bed during the daytime and letting sleep take you away from the cancer reality seems pretty appealing. Unfortunately, the bed escape can backfire. The more time you spend in your bed during the day, the less time you sleep at night. If you are in the daytime escape category, the remedy for sleeplessness is not a sleeping pill, but a plan that helps you stay out of bed during the day, so you may rest well at night.

After-Dark Fear

“When I turn out the lights, I worry I am going to die.” Intense fear about your cancer prognosis, heavy grief about changes in your life because of cancer, racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking (“there are absolutely no good days ahead for me”) are symptoms of anxiety and depression. Fortunately, anxiety and depression can be treated, but not with a sleeping pill. In fact, sleep medicines may make some depressive symptoms worse. Strategies to manage after-dark fear include helpful thoughts (“I will deal with this in the morning”), limit setting (no cancer internet searches before bed) and relaxation (an evening bath). These strategies need to be practiced everyday to be most useful.

Body Aches

Body aches, otherwise known as treatment side effects, are major contributors to 3 a.m. misery. Pain, either aching muscles or sharp, shooting nerve pain, keeps you from falling or staying asleep. There may also be cottonmouth, urges to pee and nausea. Getting rid of body aches requires a bit of work, but worthwhile if you are able to turn down the volume on your symptoms and avoid 3am Misery. Keep track of your body aches in a written calendar and talk to your oncologist about your symptoms. If you have “as needed” medicines (prochlorperazine, hydrocodone, oxycodone), definitely don’t take them without keeping track of how they work for you. Write down the date, your symptom on a scale of 1-10 and then try one medicine at a time. Be sure to only continue with the pill if the medicine allows you to be more awake and active during the day. Some people develop body aches from too little movement as muscles and joints get deconditioned during cancer treatment. Talk to your oncologist about a physical therapy referral. Safe daytime movement will certainly improve your sleep at night.

Below is a 7 Point Program that may be your best shot at minimizing 3 a.m. misery. Different parts of the program target escape, night fear and body aches.

The 7 Point Program

  1. Absolutely no cancer talk or internet searches after dinner; repeat “I will manage that in the morning.”
  2. Pick a bedtime and a wake time with 8 hours in between. Write and post the times around your home. Be a stickler.
  3. Caffeine is off limits after noon. No smoking either (nicotine is another stimulant that kills your sleep).
  4. Pick a helpful thought. “This shall pass.“ Repeat slowly & calmly, while you breathe slowly & deeply, three times before bed and if you waken in the night.
  5.  One nap a day max, 45 minutes or less, before 4 p.m.
  6. Motion is lotion. Walk the dog, or with a friend, daily (if your oncologist says ok).
  7. Chill for one hour before bedtime (stretch, read, listen to music or journal).

Of course, everyone’s medical status is unique. For example, people with very advanced disease or a heavy treatment burden may need extra daytime rest. So adjust the plan to fit your specific condition, then challenge yourself to stick it – all 7 points for 2 weeks. If you’re still having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor.

In certain situations sleep medicines and pain pills may be necessary, but you should know the source of your sleep problem before you start a sleep medication. And the goal of any medication or sleep program should be to feel more energetic, happy and clear-headed over time, so that you can well not just tonight, but in the weeks and months to come.

About Dr. Baer

Wendy Baer, MDWendy Baer, MD, is medical director of psychiatric oncology at the Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University, with appointments in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences in the Emory School of Medicine, and the Department of Hematology and Medical Oncology at Winship.
In her work at the Winship Cancer Institute, Dr. Baer helps patients and their families deal with the stress of receiving a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment. As a psychiatrist, she has expertise in treating clinical depression and anxiety both with medications and with psychotherapy to help people manage emotions, behaviors, and relationships. The fundamental goal of Dr. Baer’s practice is to promote wellness and maximize patients’ quality of life as much as possible. She believes strongly in the team approach to patient care and collaborates regularly with the doctors, nurses, and social workers that make up a patient’s care team.
Dr. Baer attended medical school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she graduated with honors. From UNC she went to the University of Pennsylvania, where she completed her residency in psychiatry and served as the chief resident in her senior year. Prior to moving to Atlanta, Dr. Baer worked with patients dealing with cancer at the Swedish Cancer Institute in Seattle, WA.

Related Resources

How Will I Cope With Cancer?

Winship’s Win the Fight 5K Exceeds Fundraising Goal to Help Battle Cancer

Winship Win the Fight 5K RecapThis past weekend,  Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University raised a record amount of money towards cancer research in Georgia. Fundraising support, through the 4th annual Winship Win the Fight 5K, which was held on Saturday, September 27, 2014, surpassed its half-million dollar goal and brought in more than $582,000. Over three thousand runners and walkers gathered Saturday morning to participate in the event that started and ended on the Emory campus and wound its way through the surrounding Druid Hills-area.

“We are so grateful to all the supporters who joined us at this year’s Winship 5K,” says Walter J. Curran, Jr., MD, executive director of Winship. “The money raised will support more than a dozen cancer research projects at Winship and will lead us to more and more success stories in our fight against cancer.”

The Winship Win the Fight 5K is a unique event because it allows participants to select the specific area(s) of cancer research they want their tax-deductible donations to benefit. Donations are still being accepted until November 14, 2014. For more information, visit the Winship Win the Fight 5K website.

And make sure to mark your calendars for the 5th annual Winship Win the Fight 5K, which will be held on Saturday, October 3, 2015.

Winship Win the Fight 5K

Winship Fight 5KThe Winship Win the Fight 5K is this Saturday, September 27, 2014 and already a HALF A MILLION DOLLARS has been raised towards cancer research at Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University.

There’s still time to be a part of this special event! Today is the last day to register online for Saturday’s event. If you cannot be present to run or walk this weekend, register as a “Sleep-In Warrior” to support cancer research from wherever you will be this weekend.

For more information, or to register, visit the Winship Win the Fight 5K website. Also, check out this inspiring video below featuring WSB-TV’s Mark Winne’s wife, Kate, a cancer survivor and Winship patient. Mark and Kate’s story not only shows the crucial role cancer research plays in the continuous fight for a world without cancer, but also the hope it beings to patients and families, here and now.

Related Resources:

Cancer Researchers, Patients Support Winship 5K Side-by-Side
Why I Run: To Raise Awareness & Funding For My Dad’s Cancer
Running to Carry Forth a Father’s Passion to Make a Difference…

Caring for the Caregiver

Cancer CaregiverCaring for a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer is such an important role. Most often it is a spouse, family member or close friend who becomes the primary caregiver for the patient. It’s a big responsibility that can, at times, be overwhelming. Sometimes we forget that caregivers need to be taken care of too.

Here are some tips for caring for the caregiver:

  • Reach out to other friends and family members for assistance. Make a list of duties that need to be completed in order to care for the patient. Ask others to help complete those tasks. This can help alleviate some stress for the caregiver.
  • Sign up for a caregiver support group. This can introduce you to other caregivers who are in a similar situation. It is also a great way to share ideas and tips. Winship Cancer Institute has a Caregiver Support Group that meets on the third Wednesday of each month for caregivers of cancer patients. Caregivers may also be interested in reaching out to other caregivers for some one-on-one support.
  • Make sure you are getting enough sleep and rest. Seven to eight hours of sleep each night can help you recharge your body and mind and give you more energy.
  • Consider relaxation techniques like meditation and yoga. Journaling is another great way to help process your feelings. This can be helpful in coping with some of the stress related to caregiving.
  • Don’t neglect your own health. Be sure to schedule and keep your own doctor appointments. It is common for caregivers to put all of their focus on the patient’s needs and ignore their own health. If you are a caregiver, you must take good care of yourself; otherwise, your own health concerns may make you unable to continue taking care of the patient.
  • Make time for yourself. It is important that caregivers do things that they enjoy doing, such as spending time with friends, participating in a hobby or exercising.

It’s easy to burn out while caring for a loved one with a serious medical condition. Pace yourself and know that you have don’t have to go it alone.

About Joy McCall, LMSW

Joy McCallJoy McCall is a Winship social worker with bone marrow transplant, hematology and gynecologic teams and their patients. She started her professional career at Winship as an intern, working with breast, gynecologic, brain and melanoma cancer patients. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Kennesaw State University and a Master of Social Work from the University of Georgia. As part of her education she completed an internship with the Marcus Institute working on the pediatric feeding unit, and an internship counseling individuals and couples at Families First, supporting families and children facing challenges to build strong family bonds and stability for their future. She had previously worked with individuals with developmental disabilities for over 4 years, providing support to families and caregivers.

Related Resources:

Caregivers of Cancer Patients Need Care Too
Support Groups at the Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University
American Cancer Society
CancerCare

8 Ways to Cope with Cancer as a Young Adult

Friend SupportReceiving a cancer diagnosis can be devastating. Just imagine how hard it would be to hear the news as a young adult. The challenges of being diagnosed with cancer between the ages of 18 and 39 are different from those in patients who are diagnosed later in life.

Many young adults diagnosed with cancer experience a disruption in a new career and dating. Cancer and any treatments that follow can sometimes have long-term affects on a person’s ability to start a family.

Here are eight ways to help you cope with cancer as a young adult:

  1. Request and ask for help. Having a support system during this time is critical. Be sure to reach out to others for support even after your treatment is completed.
  2. Consider giving friends and family members specific tasks in order to help you. Some friends and family members may not be sure how best to support you during this time. It may be helpful to you and them to provide friends and family members with specific requests. For example, request rides to treatment, ask for certain meals to be made or errands to be ran.
  3. Educate yourself. Having knowledge about your diagnosis and treatment often helps young patients maintain some sort of control during this time. This also helps to ensure you are making educated decisions about your healthcare.
  4. Ask questions! Do not hesitate to ask your healthcare provider if you have any questions. Write down your questions prior to your medical appointments.
  5. Inquire about how your treatment will affect you. Many treatments affect a patient’s ability to conceive children in the future. Talk with your medical professional about this and what options may be available to you.
  6. Consider reaching out to other young cancer survivors through young adult support groups or connecting online. The Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University currently has a new Young Adult Cancer Survivor Online Support Group that meets once a month. This group is specific for any young adult who was diagnosed with cancer between the ages of 18 and 39.
  7. Reach out to a social worker for additional emotional support. Oncology social workers have a special level of expertise and are trained to provide support to patients as they are coping with diagnosis and treatment. It is often helpful to be able to process your feelings with someone else. Social workers also have a wealth of knowledge about additional resources that may be helpful.
  8. Try not to compare yourself to other friends or family members. Your cancer diagnosis may have altered your life pattern, however, it does not have to destroy it.

The cancer diagnosis is something that happened to you, but it doesn’t have to define you or control your future. There is help out there; you just have to know where to look and who to ask.

About Joy McCall, LMSW

Joy McCallJoy McCall is a Winship social worker with bone marrow transplant, hematology and gynecologic teams and their patients. She started her professional career at Winship as an intern, working with breast, gynecologic, brain and melanoma cancer patients. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Kennesaw State University and a Master of Social Work from the University of Georgia. As part of her education she completed an internship with the Marcus Institute working on the pediatric feeding unit, and an internship counseling individuals and couples at Families First, supporting families and children facing challenges to build strong family bonds and stability for their future. She had previously worked with individuals with developmental disabilities for over 4 years, providing support to families and caregivers.

Additional Resources

Anticipatory Grief: Mourning for Your Loved One with a Terminal Diagnosis

Anna’s husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. The doctors have arranged for him to start palliative chemotherapy and expect that he will live another year. Anna is grateful for the time she has left with her husband but often finds herself thinking about a life without her beloved spouse. She feels guilty for thinking about his funeral while he is still alive, but she can’t help wondering what it will be like. Will she cry or will she be relieved he is no longer in pain? Anna questions how she can plan for the future while she is in a constant state of emergency…

The cancer journey can be an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved. Patients and caregivers, like Anna, are forced to deal with a variety of emotions beginning with the diagnosis, continuing through treatment and finally to remission or death. If death is in the foreseeable future, loved ones can experience anticipatory grief.

What is anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory Grief Cancer CaregiversAnticipatory grief is a form of mourning that occurs in anticipation of death. Anticipatory grief is often experienced once patients or their loved ones acknowledge the terminal nature of an illness. This form of grief is most frequently experienced by a caregiver but can also affect the dying individual.

It is important to not mistake anticipatory grief as a lack of faith or a negative attitude. Instead, it should be viewed as a natural human reaction. Anticipatory grief allows individuals time to absorb the reality of loss and address unfinished business such as saying “I love you,” or “I forgive you.”

Anticipatory grief affects the emotional, physical and spiritual being, but does not decrease the amount of grief felt after a death. It is important to remember that all individuals and families experience illness, grief and death in their own unique way.

Symptoms of Anticipatory Grief

According to The National Cancer Institute, the following aspects of anticipatory grief have been identified amongst survivors:

  • Depression
  • Heightened concern for the dying person
  • Rehearsal of the death
  • Attempts to adjust to the consequences of the death

Self Care for the Caregiver

It is crucial for caregivers and loved ones to participate in self care while experiencing anticipatory grief. Below are some specific things that you can do to care for yourself:

  • Talk with a professional, such as a social worker or clergy member, about your fears and emotions.
  • Attend the Caregiver Support Group at Winship.
  • Find little ways to care for yourself throughout the day like going for regular walks, getting plenty of rest and journaling.
  • It’s ok to take a break from cancer and from sadness. Give yourself permission to laugh with friends or see a funny movie.
  • Acknowledge that it is normal to experience a range of emotions during this process such as anger, confusion, sorrow and relief.

Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University offers supportive services to caregivers and patients throughout every stage of the cancer journey. Caregivers like Anna do not have to walk this path alone. The Supportive Oncology Team at Winship focuses on improving the quality of life for patients and families affected by cancer. Call 404-778-1900 to schedule an appointment with a member of the Supportive Oncology team.

About Maggie Hughes, LMSW
Maggie Hughes, LMSW, is a medical oncology social worker at Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University. Maggie assists patients at Winship by providing them with supportive counseling and practical resources. She facilitates the Pancreatic Cancer Support Group and the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Support Group at Winship. Maggie works with the genitourinary, gastro intestinal, breast, gynecological and sarcoma cancer populations. She has a passion for working with grieving families and is currently working on her certification in Thanatology through The Association for Death Education and Counseling. Maggie received her Master’s Degree in Social Work and Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy from The University of Georgia. While a graduate student, Maggie received the Heather Christina Wright Scholarship for Social Workers in Oncology. Maggie has worked in the geriatric hospital setting and in the school system as a social worker.

Related Resources:

Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University offers The Purdom Chapel as a quiet place for reflection, prayer and meditation. The Purdom Chapel is located on the first floor at Winship and is open during regular clinic hours. Chaplains are available seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

Valerie Harper: An Energetic Will to Fight in the Face of Cancer

Valerie Harper Cancer DiagnosisWhat would you do if you were told you had an incurable disease and possibly only months to live? Actress Valerie Harper recently had to ask herself that question. This past January, Harper, best known for her role as Rhoda Morgenstern in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, was told she has leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, a rare form of incurable brain cancer.

Doctors told Harper, who already has battled lung cancer, that she could have as little as three months to live. Since going public with her news back in March, Harper has mentioned in several media appearances that she has gained strength from opening up about her battle with cancer. In an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan, Harper displayed great courage and an even greater attitude when asked about her devastating diagnosis. “There’s other ways to handle it than just sit on the couch and accept.”  Through her actions, Harper has demonstrated that she is doing anything but ‘sit on the couch and accept.’

Now, eight months since her diagnosis, Harper has yet to slow down. Instead, she is doing book tours and TV appearances, exercising and even starring in an upcoming TV movie, set to air January 2014.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of willpower is “energetic determination,” while the Cambridge American English Dictionary defines it as “the ability to control your own thoughts and behavior, especially in difficult situations.”

A cancer diagnosis affects each patient and his or her family members differently. Some people may enter a state of severe depression, while others go about their normal activities while only stopping to receive treatment. For Harper, energetic determination is the key to making sure every day is the best it can be.

What are your thoughts on Valerie’s reaction to her earth-shattering diagnosis? Do you think her willpower has anything to do with her outlook on life, or could it be her coping mechanism?

At Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University, we understand that life after a cancer diagnosis can be anything but ordinary. Because of this understanding, we have developed our survivorship program to meet the needs of cancer survivors at any stage of cancer, from diagnosis to post-treatment. For more information on the Winship Survivorship Program, email survivorship@emoryhealthcare.org or call 404-778-0572.

Related Resources:

Caregivers of Cancer Patients Need Care Too

Cancer Caregivers SupportFamily members and close friends often take the role of a “caregiver” when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and begins the cancer treatment process. The caregiver provides physical and emotional care for the cancer patient. Although the caregiver takes this responsibility on in love, they can also easily burn out. The stress and consequences of caregiving can take a toll on both the patient and the caregiver. Some signs that the caregiver might be experiencing caregiver stress or burn out include:

  • Change in weight
  • Change in the amount or pattern of sleep
  • Feelings of anxiety or depression
  • Increased anger or frustration
  • Lack of time for their own needs
  • Feeling overwhelmed or trapped
  • Feeling misunderstood or unsupported
  • Missing or delaying their own medical care
  • Stopping routine exercise, socialization or other healthy daily activities
  • Increased alcohol or drug use

It is imperative that caregivers take care of themselves and not feel guilty about doing this. If the caregiver is not healthy, he or she will not be able to effectively care for the patient either. Some suggestions for caregivers to reduce burnout and improve self care:

  • Reduce Personal Stress -Recognize the symptoms of stress, identify the source of stress, identify what you can and cannot change and take action.
  • Set goals – We are more likely to achieve goals if they are broken into small steps. An example – I will walk 15 minutes every day.
  • Seek Solutions – Once you have identified a problem, taking action to solve it can change the situation and also change your attitude and give you more confidence.
  • Communicate Constructively – Use “I” messages instead of “You” messages, respect the rights and feelings of others, be specific and clear, be a good listener.
  • Ask for and Accept Help – Be honest with yourself and ask for and accept help when needed.
  • Talking to you Physician – Ask for medical advice when you don’t understand the needs of the person receiving care but also seek medical support for yourself.
  • Start to exercise – Exercise promotes better sleep, reduces tension and depression, and increases energy and alertness.
  • Learning from your emotions -Emotions are useful tools for understanding what is happening to us. So, pay attention to them.

Caregiving can be a personally fulfilling and rewarding experience. Take care of yourself in order to best care for your loved ones. They will appreciate your love and care and understand your needs as well.

About James Hankins, MSW, LCSW
James is the Director of Patient Support and Social Services at Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University. James specializes in providing support and counseling services for patients and their caregivers dealing with all types of cancer. He graduated from Michigan State University and received a Masters in Social Work from Wayne State University. James has spent the majority of his 20 years of professional service focusing on mental health issues related to changes in physical health with special emphasis on the challenges facing caregivers.

Related Resources:

Sign-up to Learn the Biology of Cancer

biology-cancerHave you ever wondered about the biology behind cancer? If so, join Assistant Professor of Hematology and Medical Oncology, Gregg Orloff, Ph.D, on Tuesday, August 6 at noon for an interactive, live, web chat on the “Biology of Cancer.” He will be available to discuss questions such as:

  • What is cancer?
  • What causes cancer?
  • What can you do to prevent cancer?
  • How is cancer diagnosed and treated?
  • What is the role of infectious organisms like viruses in cancer?
  • Why and how cancer spreads.
  • Why do cancer drugs not always work.

This interesting chat will open your eyes to what cancer is and what you can do to help reduce the chances that you or your family members will be diagnosed with the disease.

Chat Sign Up